Dark Can Be Good Too
by Socrates7727
Summary: Ten months after the Nogitsune, Stiles still feels different. Everyone else either can't know, doesn't care, or is too distracted because it's been so long. With no one left to turn to, Stiles seeks out Derek-who just might know what he's talking about. One-shot. Rated T for swearing. Enjoy!


Author's Note

DISCLAIMER I do not own Teen Wolf or anything else! One-shot

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Ten months. It'd been ten months since the Nogitsune left him. At the beginning he'd been terrified-shattered into so many ways he didn't even recognize himself. Back then, it'd been Scott and Melissa who'd gotten him through, telling him over and over again that he would heal. After a while, he'd had no choice but to believe them. And he did heal… Mostly.

On the outside he had a few scrapes from his latest research project but he was fine. Enough time had passed that the pack had stopped watching him so closely, stopped choosing their words so carefully, stopped hesitating with every little thing. Things had basically gone back to normal. It wasn't easy, exactly, but he'd managed somehow. Even the pack that had seemed to dislike him before had gone back to their usual torment. Jackson cracked his usual snide remarks, Lydia went back to ignoring him, and Erica continued to glare at him for no particular reason. If he'd been looking in from the outside, he might have thought that nothing had changed. It hadn't, really.

But he felt different-internally. He wasn't sick or hurt, really, but it was a strange, disorienting sense of something having changed. It wasn't wrong, necessarily, but as far as he could tell it also wasn't right. The nightmares didn't haunt him as frequently as they used to-it wasn't the dread in his chest he'd gotten used to when it'd been really bad-but something still felt off. He'd tried to bring it up to Scott once or twice but to no avail. The werewolf either didn't understand or was too distracted to really give it any of his attention.

Regardless, Stiles found himself sitting alone in his room for the fourth time that week and wondering if there really was something wrong. It just didn't make sense. How could he feel so different and yet be fine? For a moment, he considered going to the rest of the pack. Scott wasn't an option, Lydia would either not care or go on another research binge and end in something he really didn't understand, and Isaac... Well, Isaac was Isaac. Jackson didn't give a shit-he'd probably just sneer-and Erica had never liked him. His dad couldn't know anything was wrong. Melissa was off the table, too, because she'd undoubtedly tell his dad. The sheriff had enough to worry about as it was.

That left Derek.

Stiles wasn't thrilled to be asking the alpha for help-he wasn't even too sure about finding the alpha let alone talking to him-but he was desperate. So he got up, knowing his dad was working yet another double shift, and found his way into the driver's seat of his jeep. The engine purred when he started it; he didn't notice. Like usual, his focus was intense and pinpointed.

Only once he started driving did he realize he had no idea where to find the alpha. Actually, he didn't know where the alpha even lived. Did he have an apartment or rent somewhere? Hale couldn't possibly still live in the old Hale house, could he?

Despite his brain telling him it was ridiculous, his subconscious must have believed it at least a little bit because that was where he ended up. As expected, the house was still just as charred, dilapidated, and empty as it normally was. Stiles' gut pushed him, though, and his instinct was rarely ever completely wrong-it just sometimes got some minor details confused-so he got out of the jeep and leaned against the hood. Just because he wanted to find Derek didn't mean he was going inside that death trap.

"Hale!" Silence greeted him and he began to doubt himself. "I know you can hear me, Hale! I'm here so I'm obviously desperate so just do me a favor and show yourself? I don't have the energy for this." He heard movement.

"What are you doing here, Stiles?" It was Derek's voice, no doubt about that, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from. There was a dark figure in the doorway but with the way his imagination was going it could have easily been a shadow or a demon crawling up from hell. Focus Stiles. Hale wasn't usually patient to begin with.

"I need your help." He was alone-for all he knew he'd gone nuts and was talking with himself in the middle of the woods-but he could feel Derek raise his eyebrow at him. "Please." It was an afterthought but maybe it would make the alpha more willing to help.

"With?" Well what do you know? The alpha was susceptible to manners. Weird considering he didn't seem to have any of his own.

"Since the Nogitsune, I've felt different and I don't know why." Dammit! He could literally _feel_ Derek's breath on his skin but couldn't find him.

"Different how?" Stiles shrugged, though he knew the answer. "Different bad?"

"Different… Dark. I know that doesn't make any sense but…" Silence. Where the hell was the damn alpha? On that note, why the hell did he even bother hiding in the first place? It wasn't like Stiles could remotely hurt him, let alone be considered a threat.

"Dark?" Shit! He stepped back and managed to trip over his own feet. The alpha-who was suddenly three inches from his face-smirked a bit. Stiles huffed and pulled himself to his feet, grumbling and now thoroughly annoyed.

"You know what just forget it Hale." His hand grazed the handle of the door before a growl stopped him in his tracks. He'd never heard anything like that from Derek before-only the betas when they were pissed off-but he couldn't deny that it was hot. Damn him. He was supposed to be mad at Hale, not trying to avoid a boner.

"Who said dark was bad?" Hale could take his riddles and shove them.

"Well void Stiles was pretty damn dark and think even you can agree that was bad." Something resembling sympathy fell into Derek's face. But that couldn't be-Hale didn't do sympathy, it wasn't in his blood. It was probably pity.

"Yes," Wow Hale didn't argue with him on something-that was a first. "But that was a different dark. That was evil dark. You know this is different." Stiles would have glared if Derek hadn't been right. He kind of hated that Derek was right, to be honest, because it meant Derek could have that smug look on his face and there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

"What are you saying it's okay because I'm only a little evil?" Derek's glare said Stiles should know better. "Stop giving me that damn look Hale! If you know something say it! If not, stop wasting my time." The slight widening of Derek's eyes surprised him. Could that possibly be fear? Just because Stiles raised his voice?

"Light isn't always good. Burning fluorescent lights, hospital rooms, bared teeth, and even the ghostly skin of someone who's sick. This society is made of dichotomies-light is good, dark is bad. But it isn't that simple, Stiles. Dark is good, too. Chocolate, peaceful night skies, good soil, my wolf." If Derek didn't think Stiles noticed when he listed his wolf on the good side, he was wrong. Stiles not only noticed, but focused on that.

"You were scared of your wolf, it wasn't always good." Derek nodded.

"You're right. But I'm not afraid anymore and it's very good." He wasn't wrong and he knew it. Damn him. Hale could just go to hell he didn't understand any of this and Stiles was determined to make him realize that.

"Then explain this," he gestured towards the house. "Almost everything in there is burned and charred beyond recognition. All it is is darkness. You can't tell me that that dark doesn't hurt." At first he thought he maybe took it too far bring Derek's family into it but Derek didn't seem upset, just contemplative.

"You would think, but no. What's left is charred and burned, you're right, but I know what it is and at the very least it's something to remember them by. It's how it is now and I've accepted that. But it isn't bad." Stiles glared, he didn't believe this bullshit and Derek could tell.

"BS." Derek squinted at him, thoughts flashing across his eyes but none that Stiles could interpret.

"It's true. But the fire that night? That was the brightest, hottest light I'd ever seen. Just looking at it burned. The hospitals, the social service offices filled with white walls and pale faces-those were light. But they were bad. And that night darkened me, inside, but it was good. It made me who I am, keeps me with my family, and with time I realized it wasn't bad."

Well, shit.

That was the most he'd ever heard Derek say and that was definitely the most he'd ever heard about the Hale fire. He was still pissed off but that was temporarily pushed down to marvel at what had just happened. Had Derek just opened up to him? That wasn't it?

"Why wasn't it bad?" Derek's eyes on him were like coals-they could ignite into that alpha red at any moment and kill him on the spot-but for the moment they were a calm dark brown.

"Because it was calm. And once I wasn't afraid of it, it made me stronger." Stiles stared at him.

"Stronger?" Derek's silence was the most confirmation he was ever going to get. "How?"

Silence. He looked up but there was nothing. God dammit! If Hale could've finished a single conversation in his life Stiles would've stood on his head and sang. But it didn't matter, Derek was gone. While it pissed him off, he was still grateful. That was more than he expected and it had actually helped, surprisingly enough. And, for now, that was good enough.

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Potential continuation-not sure yet. Hope you liked it please rate, review, follow, favorite, and so on!


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